Wake n' Bake

I walked outside and gazed at my wonderful backyard. My backyard only deserves to be called wonderful because it has a pretty nice pool and it’s just basically nice to kick it out there. The cold pavement stung my feet as I stretched out my sleep. It had to be in the 20’s it felt like outside. I know it was supposed to be cold, but DAMN! This was really cold. A few minutes later and I was in my room checking the weather on my computer, it showed me it was 29 degrees outside. I decided to take a shower and smoke a bowl. Nothing beats a little wake ‘n bake session at the crack of noon. I reached over toward my custom designed medicine bottle that contains my magic medicine.

This bottle is new; I made it the other night. It is an empty prescription bottle that I made a black and white swirl design on; almost like a candy cane.

I pulled out a tiny nug, because it was Mary’s weed and I didn’t want to take that much. I broke it apart and watched it crumble in my hand. Then I squished it up and put it in the bowl. I grab some boxers and head to the bathroom, bong in hand. I pull open the window to help filter out the smell of the smoke. I turn the shower to hot and think to myself, “This is gonna be great!” As the shower warms up I toke away at Mary’s brand new glass bong. The bong has a twisty neck and then a straight chamber. A few puffs in and I was flying. I love taking showers when I am stoned so I get in and enjoy a quick cleansing session.

I let out a sigh of relaxation because I know that I can just kick back for the rest of the day and enjoy this fade. Weed man out.

Ice Cream

I had just taken a bong snap, when Mary started freakin’ out. Sometimes when she gets stoned she gets strange thoughts like, “I think my brain is swelling, take me to the hospital!” and “I can’t stop moving my feet.” But then other times she is perfectly cool and just laughs and chills like a normal stoner. I kept telling her to drink water for some reason. When I’m stoned I think water is a cure-all. After she realized that my method wasn’t as great as I thought, she decided that some Neapolitan ice cream would do the trick. I just happened to have a huger tub of it in my freezer, so I divvied up two bowls and we indulged in one of lives greater pleasures IMO.

I few bites in is when I decided to write this blog. I had thought about it before, but never went through with it. I have big dreams; I shoot high. What can I say? I would love to see this blog become widely read and popular. Who doesn’t want that? We were sitting there eating ice cream and playing WoW high out of our minds when I decided to put my ice cream down for later use. Mary noticed this and, with a beautiful smile on her face, she said, “Why aren’t you eating your ice cream silly?” I looked at her as if she should’ve already known and said, “I’m saving some because I need some thoughts for it for later.” She busted up laughing at me right away. I was confused, was it something I said? I guess I didn’t realize how strange my reply was until later, because it made perfect sense to me when I said it. I now see why she laughed at me. The ice cream still sat there untouched as I thought about what to write next. Mary slyly moved her spoon toward my bowl and got away with a mouthful of ice cream. “Don’t eat my ice cream bitch!”, I aggressively retorted.

Mary and I have a passive-aggressive quality in our relationship. We make all these ridiculously childish insults at each other because it is a way to have fun. When other people hear it they must think we don’t get along, but that’s not true. We are the complete opposite of that; we get along like best friends get along. I love it! Her own mother has commented on out insults and I think part of her might have been concerned. But she knows that Mary and I love each other.